On Calestias secret service: Queensmare
by themainman
Summary: There's a sinister plot in motion and it's up the top agents of Calestias secret service to uncover it. I'm reposting this in honor of my favorite comic book becoming a movie. Humanized characters.
1. Chapter 1

A man dressed in black moved through the long grass barely visible in the dead of night. One hand was held over a gapping bloody wound. The other was wrapped around his Makarov TTK 9mm with silencer.

He stalked as carefully as he could the only sound to be heard was his heavy breathing. The man crouched down and surveyed the land scape seeing a shadow move in the nearby tree line. He fired a single shot and instantly wished he hadn't.

"No way I'm getting out of this one." He whispered. Then he heard the sound that made his heart drop, the sound of a bullet ripping through the air. "augh" He cried out as blood flowed from his shoulder and his arm went limp.

Unable to keep his fingers closed the gun slipped from his hand. When he tried to reach for it with his other hand he felt the undeniable feel of a gun to the back of his head.

"Who do you think you are any way," he asked the assassin while pushing a button on his belt that turned on his radio. " You know if you kill me the agency will just send more to stop you." He refused to let his death be in vain. Defiant to the last that's what he learned in training, he just need this killer to say something to give them self away.

An almost demonic voice whispered in his ear, " That's what I'm counting on." The killer pulled the trigger making the agents head explode. When his lifeless body hit the ground his killer pulled the radio off his belt.

" Well, looks like your man went and lost his head, so feel free to send my next target whenever you can." The killer walked away and wondered what kind of agent would they send next. "Hopefully, someone more fun than this guy, someone with class."

* * *

"Say it again bitch I dare you." Rainbow dash threw a smashing right hook to the jaw of Diamond tiara. Tiara hit the ground writhing in pain and bleeding like a faucet.

"You crazy skank what's your problem?" Silver spoon rushed to her friend. "Ah, you psychopath how dare you lay a single finger on me."

Tiara took a look at her bloody hands and almost fainted at the sight. "You're done for, my dad has friends in the royal air force he'll have your job." Dash reached out and grabbed her by her hair. "Ahhh, let go of me you crazed lesbian."

"You think I care, I'm the best pilot in the whole RAF and besides it's what you get for picking Scootaloo you uppity brat." Rainbow gestured to Scootaloo who sat on the ground watching with tears in her eyes.

"Now take it back before I really hurt you." Dash cocked back and popped her right in the nose. Silver spoon ran up and took a swing at Dash nailing her in the cheek. Rainbow turned with pure rage in her eyes, she released her victim to turn her attention on Silver spoon.

"Wait let's talk about this now." Silver spoon braced herself for the pain to come. Dash threw the punch but stopped short, Silver spoons heart almost stopped as she slowly dropped trembling to the ground and curled up in a ball.

Rainbow dash fixed her uniform and put her garrison cap back on. "Come on Scoots let's go home." Scootaloo grabbed her hand and got up still sniffling as they walked off. Rainbow dash couldn't stand in when people picked on her " little sister" and to bad for them Dash loved to fight.

"Rainbow," Scootaloo squeezed Rainbows hand but she just kept walking, "Rainbow," she tried again. This time Rainbow stopped and turned to her little sister. "You don't have to always come to my rescue like that."

Rainbow dash put her arms around Scootaloo, resting the smaller girls head on her breast. "Listen kid no matter what I'll come to your aid." Scootaloo put her arms around Rainbow Dashs waist and squeezed her. " I just don't want you to risk your career for me." Rainbow dash took hold of her chin so to have Scootaloo looking up at her.

"I'll always be your knight in shining armor it's my favorite pass time." Dash leaned in and softly kissed her lips. The sweet taste of Rainbows lips put Scootaloo on cloud nine. It was everything she hoped for and more.

"Oh, Dash that was," Rainbow shushed her. "You just worry about being awesome and let me handle people like Diamond tiara, now go on." Scootaloo sauntered off up to her apartment, Dash loved to see her smile.

Dash made her way home to her own apartment. When she got up stairs to her door she noticed something was amiss. she checked the top of the door, where it meets the frame, for the strand of hair she placed there. It was something she learned in training and it had become like second nature to her.

The hair was gone, which meant an intruder, which also meant the worst. She reached in her pocket and drew out a ordinary looking pin, she also pulled out a zippo cigarette lighter. She opened the lighter and clicked it; a small light on the bottom glowed for a second than the lights in the hallway turned off.

Dash slowly opened the door just a crack so she could silently slip in. In the pitch black she crept around her apartment, listening for the intruder. If she focused enough she could hear a person breathing. Sure enough she heard it from a corner behind her. 'I'll teach you to break into real peoples homes.' Dash turned and fired a laser from the tip of the pen.

A lamp clicked on and there sat Twilight sparkle dressed in night op black, with her eye patch and head band, which everyone in the intelligence community instantly recognized. "You missed agent Dash," she said pointing to the burn mark left on the wall next to her." You're getting rusty, maybe you should have done another year at the academy."

"Damn it Twilight don't you know I could've killed you." Dash waved her pen laser then twisted it to turn on the safety. " As if, I can more than take you and your cute little pen laser honey." Twilight waved her berretta with a silencer attached. "I think your cover as an ordinary RAF pilot has made you sloppy."

She holstered the weapon than reached up and flick on the room light. Rainbow dash looked over and saw a man in a black coat laying on the floor dead. It was a standard kill; two in the chest and one in between the eyes. "I could have taken him."

She checked the body to see what he had on him. "Already checked found nothing useful." Twilight informed as she took out her brushed gun metal cigarette case and slipped one of the imported cigarettes into her mouth.

Before she could light it Rainbow dash stopped her. "You can't smoke in here I promised Scootaloo I would quit and I don't want to smell like smoke, your smokes have a strong smell."

"Alright fine," Twilight slipped the smoke back into the case. A sly look crept across her face. "Speaking of which I've seen your little girl toy not bad, not bad at all." Twilight had a bad reputation for how she was with women.

Rainbow reached out and grabbed Twilights shoulder holster and pulled her up out the chair she was sitting in. "You better watch it Twilight we may be friends but won't stop me from laying you out."

Rainbow use to be just like Twilight once upon a time. Treating girls like trash, just playing with them and then casting them aside when done. Then she met her sweet little Scootaloo, her love was all she needed to change.

"Calm down I'm here on official secret service business not to lust after your girlfriend." Twilight pulled away and turned to pick up a file off the chair she was sitting in. "Remember your old pal Star dust?"

"Yeah, he and I took down a drug lord in Trottingham not to long ago, what happened to him?" Twilight handed her the file. Dash opened the folder to see a picture of agent Star dust with the word deceased stamped over it. Dash clapped her hand over her mouth. She and Star dust had been friends since the academy, she couldn't believe he was dead.

Just the other day she had dinner with him and his wife. His kids called her aunty Dash. "Who did it, the griffins or the changelings perhaps?" Twilight placed her hands on Dashs shoulders to calm her down. " I don't know but it's our mission to find out, we are to go to the canterlot HQ for our briefing."

Rainbow dash ran her hand through her hair and let out a heavy sigh. "Ok let's go I have spare clothes at HQ I'll change there." Dash locked up her apartment, not worried about the dead body because people from the agency would be along pick him up.

When they got down to the street Dash was surprised to she Twilights sleek black Aston martin GT. "So you repainted it since the last time I was in it?" The last she was in it was a mission in the griffin territories.

"Can I drive?" She held her hand out for the keys. Twilight just looked at her like she was crazy. " The day I let you drive my GT is the day I grow wings and a horn."

"Aw come on, what do I have to do to finally get behind the wheel." In all the time they've known each other and all the missions they've been on together Twilight never let Dash drive her precious GT.

When they both got in Twilight turned to her. "I'll tell you what you can have my GT when I'm princess Twilight sparkle." She cranked up sped off to canterlot.


	2. Chapter 2

The car ride was a long silent one; Twilight focused on driving and Rainbow stared out the window at the moving country side. Twilight broke the silence by asking about Scootaloo. "So tell me about the girl that finally tamed the great womanizer formally known as Rainbow dash."

Rainbow let out a low chuckle, "Well, what can I say; she was hanging around the base one day, we struck up a conversation and really hit it off." Twilight really couldn't believe that Rainbow dash of all people was dedicating herself to one person.

"You sound very serious about her." "Yeah she's a great kid, I don't know where I'd be with out her." She looked over to see Twilight giving her skeptical look. "What?" Twilight shook her head and said, "No offence, but do you really expect me to believe that your intentions with her are pure?"

Rainbow dash sat up, prepared to share a few choice words with her partner. "Look here, you're getting dangerously close to crossing the line with me, if you ever…" She was cut off by an incoming transmission. Twilight pressed a button on the steering wheel that turned on a small view screen in the dash.

The face of Shining Armor, the director of the Equestrian Intelligence Agency, came on the view screen. "Agent Sparkle, agent Dash; mind telling me why you're not in my office for the briefing?" "we're on our way now Director Armor." Rainbow dash answered.

He seemed to ignore her and addressed Twilight, "006 what were my orders?" He asked in a calm but some how angry tone. Twilight never took her eyes off the road as she answered, "That all 00 agents are to report to you before tea time." "That's right Sparkle," He said as if Rainbow wasn't in the car. "you've got less then twenty minutes to get here before you're dismissed."

The screen cut to black and Twilight grabbed hold of the gear shift. "Twenty minutes, alright, my sweet little Aston can do it in five." she flicked open the top, revealing a small red button. When she pushed it the landscape disappeared into the Doppler effect and the G's forced even rainbow dash back into her seat.

Rainbow dash blinked and when she opened her eyes they were sitting in the parking behind the HQ building. Dash had to pour herself out of the car. "I always hate it when you do that." Twilight shook her head as she helped Rainbow up. "You're part of the Pegasus garrison, your body should be more than able to take it."

Not to long ago the agencies research department cooked up a special serum designed to react to an agents DNA. It gave them one of three sets of abilities, these abilities into three different garrison units: the unicorn garrison had vast psychic abilities, the Pegasus garrison were capable of flight under their own power, And the earth garrison were like living tanks, insanely strong and more than capable of taking a beating.

"Ugh, When I fly the G force is gradual not all of a sudden." She got her balance back. "Let's hurry and get dressed." "Well about that." Twilight unzipped her stealth uniform to show she was already dressed; She reached in the car pulled out the coat to her three piece suit. "I'll tell Armor you're on your way."

In director Armors office the briefing was about to begin when Twilight arrived. "Ah, agent Sparkle you've finally graced us with your presence, where's agent dash?" Twilight took her seat among the other four 00 agents. "On her way up sir." She answered her bosses question.

The other four agents were the best the EIA had to offer. In order they were: 001, Applejack; a country girl with a lot of power. She's also the head of the training regiment for new agents. 002 was Rarity, she not only makes the bullet proof suits worn by field agents but is also the head of the agencies weapons research and development, every gadget and gun used came for her mind. 003 was known as pinkie pie; something was not right about her but she's a master of stealth, she could even sneak up on Twilight. 004 was the recon expert Fluttershy, she had a way with animals and used them to gather her Intel. 005 was the number given to Rainbow dash; who's cover as a pilot wasn't completely fake, if it has wings she can fly it backwards, upside down, and blind folded. Finally there was Twilight 006, there is no one smarter or more clever. The other agents called them the main six and knew to respect them.

"Fine you're her partner you can brief her later and remove that rag from you head 006." Armor finished pointing to twilights head band. Director Armor was always on Twilight in particular, most assumed it because she was his sister. Everyone thought he would favorite her but instead he was harder on her than anyone else.

"On to the briefing," He said now addressing everyone in the room. "A month ago several high velocity ICBMs were stolen right out of their silos." He began as he paced around from behind his desk.

"No other Intel agency, the griffins or the dragons, has any idea who's behind it." He held up a picture of agent Star dust. "We put Star dust on the case and he did uncover a lead before his untimely termination, thanks to his work we know it wasn't a world government but a private group."

He sat on the edge of his desk. "006 I want you and 005 to take up his post and continue the investigation." He handed her a file from his desk. "This is all the progress he had made, the two of you are to report to ponyville." "Right away director Armor." She said as Rarity got her attention. "Come down to R&amp;D we have some new weapons for you."

Rainbow dash was just walking up as the other agents were leaving. "Wait you guys are done already?" Before anyone could say anything Armor yelled from inside his office. "005 get in here now!"

After the chewing of a life time Rainbow found Twilight smoking a cigarette out by her car. "How'd the inquisition go?" Twilight asked. "Like always, 'pull your head out your ass 005 or I'll have you pushing papers'." She did her best impression of Shining armor.

"Aw don't mind him he's only hard because his position calls for it." The two of them got in the car. "So what's the mission this time?" Dash asked strapping herself in. "We're going to ponyville to pick up where Stardust left off."

Twilight revved up the engine and began pulling out the parking lot. "Good when I get my hands on whoever's behind this, I'm gonna disembowel 'em and choke them with their own intestines." "Whoa there ninja assassin, don't for get our main goal is to save the world." She said with a laugh.

"Then let's do it shall we." The two of them smiled as Twilight push the accelerator switch on the gear shift and they shot out of canterlot at the speed of sound.


End file.
